A word – holding its sound in my mouth. Traveling the circumference of my tongue. Gently tickling the inside of my skull.
How does one hold a word? To ferry these feelings, that even my body can not contain. I am scared to let them tumble out. They are bigger than me and are all me. This love I feel for you – is a gift I give to you and is a gift I get to revel in the reflection of for myself. Its possibilities are unbound.
Today, I am using the light to inhabit space. I am working on approaching the surface of my skin. Each day. Inch by inch. Each little crevice. Melting. Opening. When I am ready.
I have been wanting to start writing for a while, but have been reluctant to start. How do I being to express the journey that I have been on these past couple of years?
I’ve arrived at a clearing in the woods. A clearing that feels like home. A clearing that I didn’t realize I was looking for but am now realizing I was missing so deeply. This is such a precious place I find myself. This is where I find myself with my new partner. He feels ancient. He feels solid like the ocean waves. I finally have something I can push against. Something that makes me feel alive. Sometimes it feels little scary, but in a good way. This is not a static place. It’s dynamic and evolving. I look forward to writing down my thoughts and sharing my experiences as I go.